I’ve always had the desire to move abroad. I’ve been considering it for some time now but just didn’t know how. I was always thinking to myself that once I finished everything I needed to finish in America, I would do it. As the days turned into months & the months turned into years that dream became further from my grasp & almost impossible to accomplish because of the finishing of ‘things’. I had to figure out was it really things or fear of failure or was the fear of failure the ‘things’. So I figured FEAR was the ‘thing’. I would be venturing out to a world that was unknown to me & I would be by myself & that’s what scared me most.
I was looking for something different—a new place where I felt completely comfortable & I knew it wasn’t in America. I found myself getting increasingly more radical at ‘home’ & just hated the state & conditions of my life. I felt like I was just settling on what was familiar rather than what made me truly happy. I found that if I didn’t fear my dreams then they were simply not big enough. So last year, July 13th, 2012 at a tapas bar in the middle of Madrid, Spain, I made the vow to live abroad & move to Spain the following year and so the wheels started turning.
I decided whatever it took I was going no matter what! I had to devise a plan to get out of my current job that I simply grew displeased about; every day I absolutely dreaded going to it. I didn’t give a damn about my job & it was only making me more resentful for having stayed so long. I was absolutely going nowhere quick & that disturbed & scared me tremendously. Why was I holding on to something that wasn’t beneficial to my spirit? The only thing that my job offered was an uncompetitive salary. I’ve worked at this place for five years & had not received a raise but had my benefits decrease year after year. I also wasn’t respected as a human being & that disturbed me the most. On December 18th, 2013, I walked away from my security & walked into my happiness & that made me secure.
It was quite liberating. I felt free from conforming to what Americans consider a good salary for a good life. I applied for a study abroad painting program & got accepted. This would only be the beginning for me. I cashed out everything because the plan was not to work & just experience life for a while on my own terms. If I ran out of money then so be it. I would figure out what I should do when that time came.
After finding a storage place & giving my landlord notice, I packed up the things I wanted to take & left. Were things perfect when I left? No. But that didn’t matter. I was doing exactly what I wanted when I wanted & how I wanted & that to me was perfect. I landed in Barcelona Spain on June 22nd, 2013 & haven’t looked back. It’s been four months & I still have no regrets. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Things here according to some standards aren’t perfect but it’s perfect for me.